How many terrible catheters does it take to ruin the love between a man and a goldfish? How long until the tazer ( inevitably) becomes involved?
When you’re putting condoms on sex toys, there MAY be a problem.
The Horrifying Debilitation of Thinking Addiction
(a Cautionary Sermon)
by Seth “Fingers” Flynn Barkan
—-What should I do before the YaCy robot crawls my website?
In order to prevent YaCy from crawling your website, a robots.txt file should be created with the following content:
Otherwise the robots themselves can not be controlled, since everyone of them is run by a YaCy user, and not centrally by the YaCy project.
—-From the FAQ for the YACY decentralized P2P search-engine project’s documentation; you have been warned…
Had an idea last night. That’s how it always starts… I keep trying to break myself of the “thinking habit” - after all, it’s a sure signal of weakness of character, low breeding, and other sundry symptoms associated with such idle wastrelsy - but, in spite of my best efforts, I keep thinking. I am keenly aware of how I have been made a slave to this weakness, and am fully informed as to how this addiction to thinking rots one’s brains, erodes the faculties, dulls the mind, etc. until, finally, the hunger - after consuming all that it can reach, only to render such glories into mindless notions, images, poems, and introspection… well… We all know where the thinking mind gets us; it gets us killed; burnt out; just like all the other great addictions that have plagued humanity, the thinking will leave you with a thirst that can’t be slaked, and will render you into a husk after it’s appetite finally turns inwards, consuming you, yourself.
Yes; I say with no pride that I was made aware of the dangers associated with intellectual flirtations… It all starts so simply, though: someone asks you a question about something, and, as you attempt to answer it, you’re already so far gone into the high euphoria of it all… the contemplative haze of introspection and reasoning and moral valuation and other fancy terms that the pushers of this vile cancer use to slickly and clincally conceal the sinister reality of thinking… Yes… someone asks you a question, and, before you even know it, there you are, AGAIN AND AGAIN, day AFTER REASONLESS DAY, thinking of the answer… I have no shame when I say that my case is not unique; just like the other poor misbegotten unfortunates who came before me, by the time we realized that we were hooked, we’re too far gone; thinking, at at point, has become integrated into our personalities to such an extent that it’s not just a “social thing” we do to “be cool”… no… Truly, by the time we realize that we’re not just screwing around with a few abstract jokes or a book of surrealist games but that we’re hopelessly, slavishly addicted to it, well… by then it has taken control of our entire lives; forcing us to do things we don’t want to do; torturing our nights with sleepless contemplation…
So we begin to isolate ourselves from the people we knew before this disease took hold, ravaging and raping *every* *single* *moment* with it’s constant need… We try to spare those around us from it’s insatiable, nightmarish dominance of our own being - for many, out of shame, that we could be brought so low by such cliches as “idle thoughts,” or trivial philosophical treatises… So we hide ourselves away, hoping that, maybe we can get some of the control back over ourselves. BUT THIS JUST MAKES US MORE OF ITS SLAVE…
So, as a person in recovery, I hope you’ll hear me when I say: don’t even think about it; give it a moment of thought, it will take a lifetime; one wonderment or puzzle begets billions more, unending, unanswerable, - and, in many cases, OBSCENE and VILE and HORRIFYING… these notions are not to be trifled with, friends; they will make a bonfire of your mind and you will spend the rest of your life watching helplessly, wondering how such a harmless thing as a little thought could have brought you so low…
Ultimately, death is the only real release for people like me, hopelessly afflicted with this ravenous, Satanic disease… We can’t even wonder or hope for a cure, as that only seems to strengthen the hold that “thought” already has over us. All it takes is *ONE* time; just “one little idea” that you let into your mind, and, before you know it, your ideas will get bigger and bigger, building on each other, until your so far out of control/enslaved by the whispering, seductively silken chains known as Logic and Critical Reasoning, Philosophy, Semiotics, and even more intricate dissasemblage of the frameworks and systems that make up the complex phenomenon we call “existence…” It’s a slippery slope with no solution… So take my advice, friends: don’t even think about it. It all starts with “just a little idea…” but by then, it’s already too late.
And try as we might, we can’t rationalize it away… at least, not before it rationalizes *US* away first. In which case, we’re left only to wonder some more about whether or not we had any choice in the entire thing in the first place.
Before you know it, you’re reading Descartes, Nietzche, Camus, Joseph Campbell, and EVEN scientific abstracts and reports.
Don’t think yourself into a quandary; once you do, you’ll never escape.
Thank you for your time and inattention; lobotomies, 18th Century-Style Punch-and-Judy hand puppet shows, feetballs, and backbreaking phyisical activity will be served at the reception to follow. And remember: a mind TRULY IS a terrible thing to waste.