So… The IRS said on Tuesday that BTC isn’t a currency but property and is subject to capital gains tax. I thought that was aok… But hadn’t considered what the real implications of that were… Basically, the ruling goes on to say that your holding Bitcoin is taxable based on the current reasonable rate of exchange vs the reasonable rate of exchange when you bought Bitcoin. This also means that, theoretically, if you wanted to pay someone in Bitcoin (like you hire me to kick out a website for you), you have to get my Tax ID/social security number AND have to suddenly file AS A SMALL BYSIBESS WITH EMPLOYEES. This is very very very very very bad…
It’s actually difficult for me to accurately comprehend my own horror… It’s that bad.
While price changes in BTC have never bothered me (because they weren’t based in reality, rather, driven by bad reporting), the market is currenty PLUMMETTING at this news, and I am very worrie because - for once - this bad news seems to be substantial and fundamentally damaging to BTC. Over te last hour, the market has lost over 50 dollars, a drop the size of which I have only seen during the past panic sellings… This time, though, it seems as if the panic might be well founded.
Shaping up to be a horrendously shitty day.
"What do you think, Jeb?" The sherif asked nervously as he watched the throng of angry midgets mob-crawl their way up the cliff face towards the survivors.
He continued: “do we throw them to the midgets, or,” he nodded, moonlight catching the corner of his eye as he smiled insanely, “do we throw the midgets at them?”
Clearly, it was going to be a long night.
Was it life or irony that’s supposed to tie you up after forcing you to wear a clown costume so you can go on pay per view and get beaten to death by elephant testicles? I get confused. Either way, I’m pretty sure that it’s most likely ironic… Just the same, I am certain that such conflagrations of ambiguity are common… Hence my steely eyed assessment: “that’s life.”
-before I give appropriate attribution to the garbled-mouthed double-speaker who crafted the atrocious paragraph cited above, let me simply say: holy fuck: a major newspaper printed EXACTLY WHAT I QUOTED ABOVE, and did so AS THEIR LEAD-IN PARAGRAPH FOR (what they are evidently banging like a cheap drum in the hopes of ostensibly creating) A MAJOR STORY.
Forget the bitcoin angle, forget the basic abdication of fundamental journalistic precepts and responsibilities… This is HORRENDOUS if only for the simple fact that you can hear the English language itself scream in mercy as these guys ratchet up the thumbscrews. It’s one thing to have to punch up a quick piece without… Saying… Anything…. It’s another thing entirely to run with it as if you’re a genius, delivering chalk-tongued gospel while only succeeding in spraying PUKE EVERYWHERE…
Criticize my own prose all you wish, I’m not writing this shit for publication in a MAJOR-LEAGUE “ROUGH DRAFT OF HISTORY”-CALIBER ACCREDITED NEWSPAPER. If you aren’t horrified, please re-read the quote above AGAIN… It ran underneath the following (equally tortured, equally vague, equally pointless, equally sensationalistic, ridiculously grotesque) headline:
“Deputies: Newsweek Bitcoin story quoted Satoshi Nakamoto accurately”
HOLY FUCK?!… In spite of obviously having been spawned from some special sweet spot of a Torquemada-wished-he-twist-meaning-sentence-of-into-could-he-do-you-confession-will-he level of unholy linguistic hell somewhere far beyond maelbolge, the LA FUCKING TIMES PRINTED THIS.
Wow. That totes magotes for hilariously bad copy for this month; but hell; we all have bad and/or shitty (to read: “make existence look less like the nothing it is; punch this up at 450 words,”) days… Wow!
How many terrible catheters does it take to ruin the love between a man and a goldfish? How long until the tazer ( inevitably) becomes involved?
When you’re putting condoms on sex toys, there MAY be a problem.